Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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