high people should be assigned attendants
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
