what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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