You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
