i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
