I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
