everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
