So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
