so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
