so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
