Ambien. No doubt about it.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
