last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
