have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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