I think I died a long time ago.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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