if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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