he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
