yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
