please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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