Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
