Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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