I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
