i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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