so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
