so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
can u get pink eye on your cock?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
