Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
