We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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