i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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