Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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