She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
