I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My vagina is very pro this idea
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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