Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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