In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
whose ass print is on the piano?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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