So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
