I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
