My brain says no but my pants say off.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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