So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
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It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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