Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
