I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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