So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
