it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
