It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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