Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
