what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
