Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
