You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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