I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
