We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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