Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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