Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
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