I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
did i just pee glitter
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
