I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
