I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
