Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
