a queef is a wish your heart makes.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
