Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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