so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
