I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
