And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
