everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
